Let sleeping babies lie

Thanks to Uncle Pete for my awesome outfit!

Benjamin is growing by leaps and bounds!  We had our 2 week check up last Friday and found out that he's up to 7lbs 14ozs from his birth weight of 6lbs 11ozs.  Usually the pediatrician is just happy if they are back up to their birth weight.  It's still weird to think that Benjamin isn't quite the weight I was when I was born though :)

I'm totally consumed on a moment to moment basis with this little guy.  My days are just a constant cycle of sleep, nurse, change, soothe, repeat and I'm finding that I actually like it!

so sweet!

First couple weeks...

Yesssss!  Look at those little arms!  Caught this pic just in time!

Phew... part of me is glad for the all-nighters I pulled in college and the general sleep deprivation I've dealt with in my life.  It was actually good training for right now- running on adrenaline :)  So far Benjamin has been wonderful!  He's taken a liking to hanging out after feedings and changings and wanting to be held which I don't mind all-in-all, but at 3am I'd rather go straight back to bed than have a bright eyed infant staring at me.  I'm overtaken on a minute by minute basis of the awesome resonsibility I've been entrusted with.  I have to be careful not to let it overwhelm me!

Ok, I need to go get some sleep, he'll be up soon!

This is how most of Benjamin's bloodwork was taken- heelpricks.  Here you can see at least 7...
my poor little boy :( So glad everything turned out ok in the end!

More Hospital time than expected

Thank you again to all of you who prayed for my little family this past weekend and week.  We had a little bit of a rougher time than I thought but THANKS BE TO GOD we are home and healthy.

I delivered on Thursday night (see last post).  Benjamin (and Joe) hung out in the nursery for awhile trying to get his temp up and blood-sugar levels up.  Because of this both sets of grandparents and Auntie Em had to see him in the nursery.  I myself didn't get to see my little man until about 4 in the morning when his levels finally stabalized... well, his temp didn't so they brought him down to me for some cuddle time and that did the trick.  I spent from 4am to 6am in tired delirium holding this little warm breathing body and being in awe that God would chose me for his mother. 

my little old man after his bath Thurs. night

Friday morning was the basic hospital check ups for me and him, etc.
This is where things got a little crazy.  The pediatric doctors on the floor said that they had seen his blood work from the night before and there were some inconsistencies that may signal he had an infection of some kind but they couldn't know yet just what.  The blood they had sent away had some initial growth that may or may not be extemely serious but they wouldn't be able to find out more until the next day when the culture had enough time to grow.  So for precautionary reasons our little boy got an IV of antibiotics with the plan being that if the culture didn't grow anything serious that he could be taken off of it in the next 2 days, but if it was serious than we had caught it from the beginning and he would have to stay in the hospital for at least the next week for treatment.

Not in the plan!
So at this point Benjamin qualified for "Level 2 Nursery" and couldn't leave due to the IV so I trucked myself down to the nursery about every 3 hours in an attempt to feed him etc.  (side note: I also ended up staying an extra day due to my blood levels, therefore I needed to be wheeled to the nursery in a wheel chair all of Friday... annoying, but I was just too dizzy to make it on my own.  Luckily with some good food and vitamins I was good enough to walk around by Saturday morning.)
Where was I, OH, Ben in the nursery.  Thus begins Saturday- So the blood culture that they were watching did in fact have growth on it and it was one of 3 things- 2 not serious and 1 VERY serious.  At this point on Saturday afternoon the peds doctors came back in (who are amazing by the way but more on that later) and explained that they were concerned about all this and wanted to make sure that they were catching everything in time.  They expained that he looked really good and that they hoped everything they were doing was precautionary but they didn't want to take any risks.  They asked for us to sign off on a lumbar puncture procedure so that they could collect some fluid from his spine and make sure that if there was an infection they could start a culture to see if it was in his brain and spine.  This may have been the hardest paper I've ever signed.  The faster we knew what was wrong the faster they could treat it. 

The doctors came back saying that he had done really really well with everything but unfortunately the sample they got had clotted too quickly.  They didn't want to repeat the procedure right away for his sake so they decided to wait for the 48 hour blood culture to be done Sunday morning and if that came back positive for infection then they would make another attempt.

Benjamin in his "superman goggles" and monitors

About this time we got the news that like many babies, Benjamin had jaundice and his bili levels were high enough that he needed treatment so he needed to go under the blue lights.  So for those keeping track at home Ben was now hooked up to an IV, monitors, in an isolet (incubator) and under the bili lights.  That next time I went to feed him was very hard.  I can't describe what it's like to see your baby of only a few days with so much stuff going on!

Benjamin was a champ through all of this.  For the most part he was very content, the nurses all loved him and thought he was the cutest little old man. :)

Blessedly the blood culture came back negative and the growth was not due to in infection and he was taken off antibiotics on Sunday afternoon.  This meant no repeat Spinal tap as well!  His bili levels were still up so he was still under lights but they were in the process of weaning him off of those and checking his temp.  So by Sunday evening I was discharged and Ben was slated to go Monday afternoon if everything went well (levels lowered and temp stayed up). 

After much lost sleep and prayer Benjamin was cleared to go home Monday afternoon and we came home to some very happy grandparents, uncle and aunt (my parents, Joe's parents, Pete and Em).

I also have to add that Monday was our 2 year wedding anniversary... could we get a better gift!

Abbreviated Birth Story of Benjamin

leaving for the hospital... no time for a retake :)

Phew... what a week!  Benjamin is one week old tonight which is incredibly hard to believe.  I feel like this past week has passed by like a dream! 

Thought I'd give a little wrap up of what went down.

BIRTH DAY-
This birthing thing was amazing and crazy...  if you want the full story I'll be happy to tell you in person, but I'll give a quick summary here-
Thursday morning I woke up with a contraction at 5am and some pain in my lower back.  That morning I watched Pride and Prejudice (thanks to Amy) while sitting on my birthing ball, went for a mile walk, ate some left over fajitas (which I regretted later), etc.  About 2:30pm rolled around and I noticed the contractions about 7 min apart.  I called Joe to come home and by the time we were walking out of the house they were about 2-3 min apart and getting pretty darn painful, mostly in my back.
At the hospital they assessed my progress in the Triage area at 6:30pm and told me that they were pretty busy that night.  At this point lets just say that things went quickly- because of the position Benjamin was in to say that there was pain in my back is a rediculous understatment.  Fast forward (water breaking, lots of contractions and breathing, oxygen mask, concern for baby's heart rade, etc.)
At, I think 9pm or so my midwife checked the progress and said that I was 5 out of 10 cm dialated (meaning about half the way ready to deliver).  I will admit this was not the news I wanted to hear, to think that all of this pain and I'm only half way there!  Well Ben caught my drift because on the next contraction my body pretty much said it was "go time."  The midwife came back and realized that somehow in the last 5 min I was fully ready to push!  Being that I was not yet in a Labor and Delivery room there was great commotion as people raced in to help out in the Triage area of the ward.  Ben made his fast and furious arrival about 5 minutes later at 9:16pm.  The whole experience is so surreal to me, it was like a dream because it caught me so off guard.  I was then moved to a real delivery room with Benjamin.  I did some fist pumps down the hallway and the nurses laughed at me.
Joe, Benjamin and I got to spend an amazing hour together bonding before he was off to the nursery and I to the recovery room.

Not home yet

Dearest friends and family, we have been so overwhelmed by the amount of well wishes and prayers for the delivery, Benjamin and our little family.  I ask that you keep those prayers up for just a tad longer.  There's no huge cause for alarm, but we've had a little different stay than we thought we would have.  Some initial blood of Benjamin's came back that signaled a possible infection, so yesterday he was started on an antibiotic IV and monitors.  With this meant that he was upped to "level 2 nursery" and had to stay there.  We've been making the trek to the nursery to see him for feedings and visits.  While the IV was started other tests were begun that need 48 hours to complete so we're here for at least an extra day.  We will update everyone as soon as we know more.

The Baby is here!

Benjamin Daniel arrived at 9:15pm on Aug. 5. He was 6 lb. 11oz. And 18.5 inches long. Mom and baby are doing well!

Learning to surrender

Beware of random musings about life... :)

<-- which color will we need!!?!

So often in our lives we are given opportunities to surrender our wills to that of our heavenly father or to the will of another.  I don't know a better chance than with giving birth.  There are no guarantees in anything with having a baby and in that lies both the beauty and frustration.  For some reason I had it in my mind that Tiguester would come this past weekend, but I was wrong. :(

What I find most interesting about this waiting game is that one minute I feel ready and the next I start to freak out about being a mother for the first time.  It's no longer just me, or even just me and this belly, but me and a baby.  I know most of you mothers who read this are probably like... "yeah, that's how this whole thing goes." but sitting at the top of this roller coaster hill leads to a very once-in-a-lifetime perspective.  The thrilling, wind in your hair, exhilaration of beginning my life as a mother and the gut wrenching anxiety, don't look down moments, all lay on the track ahead.  To think I thought that finding my vocation was going to be the exciting step of life, that which would lead me to heaven.  Well, heaven is both being in the roller coaster car at this moment and hopefully waiting for me a the end of the ride, both the journey and the destination.  There's much to do, much to be thankful for and much to just accept as the merciful love of God.  Who am I to get to ride this roller coaster?  It's just the beginning of this next segment of track and I'm so glad to have my husband beside me for this amazing, for better or for worse, ride of our lives!  I love my Joe, bring it on life.  I've got my hands in the air!

(for Emperor's New Groove fans- Kronk, on the 'coaster' to the secret lair: "Eezma, put your hands in the air!")

39 weeks along -->

In the meantime...

While I wait for Tiguster to make his/her appearance... I feel like it might be close but then again, God only knows when we'll get to meet her/him!

Our big July adventure/project was the front yard landscaping.  As I previously posted about, we had a company come and rip out the massive bushes and then we set to work deciding what to do with the space.  My mom helped us to come up with some ideas that we formed into our plan of action.  All of the bushes are pretty young right now so they're small, but I think that just makes the house look that much bigger and give us that much more time before trimming :)  We picked some hearty, slow growing plants so that we could keep up with them and make sure that our house did not get taken over like it was when we bought it.

We were extra blessed in that both of our sets of parents were able to help us get these bushes in and the mulching and grass seeding done.  If anyone is worrying, I did not overdo it :).  It would have taken us so much longer to get all of this work done without family help!!

Here's some pics, more on picasa.  Home sweet home...

 The line of light grey next to the mulch is actually grass seed.  We decided we didn't need to use all of the space that used to be covered in bushes.