Learning to surrender

Beware of random musings about life... :)

<-- which color will we need!!?!

So often in our lives we are given opportunities to surrender our wills to that of our heavenly father or to the will of another.  I don't know a better chance than with giving birth.  There are no guarantees in anything with having a baby and in that lies both the beauty and frustration.  For some reason I had it in my mind that Tiguester would come this past weekend, but I was wrong. :(

What I find most interesting about this waiting game is that one minute I feel ready and the next I start to freak out about being a mother for the first time.  It's no longer just me, or even just me and this belly, but me and a baby.  I know most of you mothers who read this are probably like... "yeah, that's how this whole thing goes." but sitting at the top of this roller coaster hill leads to a very once-in-a-lifetime perspective.  The thrilling, wind in your hair, exhilaration of beginning my life as a mother and the gut wrenching anxiety, don't look down moments, all lay on the track ahead.  To think I thought that finding my vocation was going to be the exciting step of life, that which would lead me to heaven.  Well, heaven is both being in the roller coaster car at this moment and hopefully waiting for me a the end of the ride, both the journey and the destination.  There's much to do, much to be thankful for and much to just accept as the merciful love of God.  Who am I to get to ride this roller coaster?  It's just the beginning of this next segment of track and I'm so glad to have my husband beside me for this amazing, for better or for worse, ride of our lives!  I love my Joe, bring it on life.  I've got my hands in the air!

(for Emperor's New Groove fans- Kronk, on the 'coaster' to the secret lair: "Eezma, put your hands in the air!")

39 weeks along -->